Dipti Sethi_BLP048_Self Leadership_October 2012

16^th October

The Mind in communication: COGNITION

·      Assumptions based on the meanings added

·      Constructed meanings (cultural and personal)

·      Selected “data” from observations

·      Observable “data” and experiences (as a video tape recorder might capture it)

(Choose data that suits you)

Based on Assumptions à Conclusions

The Ladder of Inference

Describes one of our basic habits of mind: our reflexive use of inference and judgment as if they were statements of fact

·         Our beliefs are the truth

·         The truth is obvious

·         Our beliefs are based on real data

·         The data we select are real data

·         We’ve all the data we need

Observe “Data” and experiences

·         Select data from what I observe

·         I add meanings (cultural and personal)

·         I make assumptions based on the meanings I added

·         I draw conclusions

·         I adapt beliefs about the world

·         I take actions based on my beliefs

23^rd October

Today Anil Sir discussed about Courage and Happiness.

COURAGE comes from:

·         Our identification with community and country.

·         Inside – the cause for which you are fighting.

·         Passion-goal

·         Selflessness – when you sense a higher cause

·         Discovering aspects in yourself

·         Extraordinary challenge – You overcome limitations when you’ve courage from within

·         Spark within

·         Deep love for something

·         “SERVICE” or “SEVA” - which strengthens your courage

·         If you’re true to yourself and your ethics build courage

·         Opportunity to take on big responsibility

·         Courage is not absence of fear but the realization that something is more important than fear.

HAPPINESS: To explain that, we were shown a video by the most happiest person on earth: Mr. Matthieu Richard. He explained the difference between Pleasure and Happiness. Pleasure is not long lasting. Eg: If I love a chocolate cake, I’ll feel very happy first time, less happy second time and disgusting third time. It follows Law of marginal utility. However, happiness or better to say well being is not only a pleasurable sensation but a deep state of serenity and fulfillment which underlies all emotional states. Of course our outer conditions should be good enough but our inner conditions should be strongest enough because if you get the most comfortable place on the 100^th floor of most beautiful building and you are unhappy inside, then you will find a window in that apartment to jump. And you can control your inner conditions better than outer one. However, if you save some child’s life then that gives a great sense of happiness. Also, people more inclined towards right part of brain have more risk of going into depression as opposed to people inclined towards left part of brain.

Summarizing, above in points, Happiness is:

·      Living in the present moment

·      The power of meditation

·      Compassion as a “Huge Force” – impacts brain

·      “Things” don’t bring Happiness

·      Practice – to meditate

·      Honor life – Inner Fulfillment

·      We chose to be happy

·      From hate to love is a fantastic journey

·      It’s our choice to love – Love and hate can’t co-exist

·      Joy and happiness are not pleasure

·      Passion and love for a cause creates courage which leads to Happiness

·      Transforming your mind is Happiness

·      In some countries, GHP (Gross Happiness Index) is used nowadays as a measure of stability rather than GDP (Gross Domestic Product)

Determinants of Happiness:

1.    Religion

2.    Good Relationship (Doing good to others + Appreciative Inquiry)

3.    Thinking style (Positive thoughts)

4.    Exercise (Yoga)

It’s true that Happiness comes from inside and for that to happen as per Maslow Hierarchy needs your spiritual (by Religion), social (by Good relationships), mental(by Thinking style) and physical(by Exercise and Yoga) needs must be satisfied, then only you can think about a higher cause or you can develop your love for a cause and which will then make you courageous enough to face any extraordinary challenge.

Practically, I also believe that Money is not everything but to say that you’ve to earn it enough. 

Dipti Sethi_BLP048_Self Leadership_September2012

This was the second time we got the chance to have a session on Self Leadership with our honorable and charismatic leader Mr. Anil Sachdev.

Since we have lost 2 of our leaders, our classmates: Gaurav and Rahul and Anil Sir knew the emotions flowing inside our brains and hearts after that unexpected and horrible incident.

Also, the SOIL family was very supportive in that entire week and stood as a family as the name goes (SOIL family).

He identified, understood and through this session released our emotions in terms of its impact on us.

So he started the session by analyzing the impact of that situation on us – individually and then in groups which was shared finally with Anil Sir.

As per our group, we came up with below key points:

·         The first thing by which you can help others is to help yourself, take care.

·         Life is unpredictable so make use of each and every moment of it.

·         Live life as one day and love everyone who comes your way.

·         What we spend as moments becomes memory for others.

·     Show your warmth and enthusiasm to this whole world so that they’ll remember    your smiling faces whenever you come to their mind.

·     Love your parents – take care of them because they won’t be able to forget anything about you.

After this, Anil Sir discussed about EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE :

·         Is acquired

·         Ability to listen to people (as if your life depends on it) –  Should be able to absorb   directly  without exaggeration and dilution.

·         Understand - Paraphrase

Affective components of intelligence may be essential to success in life.Sympathy and Empathy – both are the key terms used for emotions. He showed very beautifully the difference in SYMPATHY and EMPATHY. He called 2 people and told one of them to wear other person’s shoes over his own shoes  – that’s SYMPATHY. Then he was told to take out his own shoes and then try to wear other one’s shoes – that’s EMPATHY.

The person using empathy tunes into the entire inner world of the other person whereas the person using sympathy typically tunes into only those aspects with which he agrees.

The listener using empathy usually responds more comprehensively to the talker as compared with the listener using sympathy.

EQ stands for Emotional Intelligence Quotient. It’s a measure of person’s emotional intelligence. It makes people trust on you. Qualities of an EQ person are empathy, listening skills, patience, and respect for others. She/he accepts the uniqueness of the other person. Genuineness, Authenticity, Warmth – reflects by your eyes and body language if you are Emotionally Intelligent. It comes by self understanding.

After that, we did Appreciative Inquiry about each other like a kid in which we discussed about our best moment in SOIL, and when SOIL was at its best (Strengths of SOIL), what was special about the experience, what does this teach us about ourselves?

Everyone shared their views about each other and SOIL.

It was a great spiritual session at the end of which we were asked to think deeply about unstated expectations, regrets about past, guilts that we carry so that we should be able to move forward and be successful irrespective of all the hindrances or heavy stones which are on our back and stopping us to move forward. But we have to fight like a kid and remove those stones to keep moving.