Shikha Bhatia_BLP059_Self Leadership_October2012

We had another session on Self Leadership by Anil Sir on 16^th October where he started the class with a question, “What is the most important question in each of our lives?”.

Then he asked few more questions after that to explain us the ‘framework of strategic decision thinking’.

•              Collect all meaningful and reliable information
•        Define creative and doable paths/alternatives
•        Define logic to evaluate Risk and Returns
•        Define Values and Trade offs
•        How to implement the idea into action?

We also learnt different dimensions of creativity. We did so many activities based on that which helped us in realizing that how a child is always full of creativity which keeps on decreasing with age. Each one of us has so much potential but we are always restricted because of one or the other reason. Fear of failure always stops us from working towards our goal.

Anil Sir beautifully explained the concept of “Ladder of Inference” - the thought process that we go through usually without realizing it, to get from a fact to a decision or action.

(Source: Google Images)

We always start with Reality and facts at the lowest level and from there:

• 1      We select these based on our prior experience and beliefs.
•         Interpret based on our understanding as what they mean.
•         Apply our assumptions to reach to conclusions.
•          Draw conclusions based on the interpreted facts and our assumptions.
•          Develop beliefs based on these conclusions.
•          Take Actions that seem right to us based on what we believe.

On 22^nd October, in the continued session by Anil Sir, he started the session again by asking a question that “What does courage mean to you and capture the essence of it?”

After a few minutes of discussion below mentioned points were collated:

•        Courage comes from Identification with the community, selflessness, extraordinary challenge, opportunity to take big responsibility
•        SPARK from within
•       Courage comes from the passion-Goal 
•      Courage comes from dreams and their power; passion for a cause

Courage is not absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than fear.

We saw a video of world’s happiest man Matthieu Ricard and learnt the importance of living in present moment. He explained that happiness is totally intrinsic and can be attained by achieving inner peace and inner fulfillment. We can achieve it through meditation as it is very powerful technique of watching your breath and attaining peace. 

Anil Sir made us practice meditation in class and it was a great experience. I felt connected with my inner self and it is always rejuvenating and amazing feeling.

We also learnt about determinants of happiness: Results

•           Religion
•        Good Relationship
•        Thinking Style
•         Exercise-Mental and Physical

In the end, we learnt a new concept of ‘Immunity X-ray’ which is an amazing way of overcoming your fear and bringing change in oneself. We were asked to think about something that you want to change in yourself but you find it difficult to change. People are not able to overcome their habits because they have some hidden competing commitments.

ShikhaBhatia_BLP059_Happiness_September2012

Happiness- What is happiness? A very simple question yet very difficult to answer. Happiness is different for different people.  Ideally it is defined as a state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. (Source: Wikipedia)

Happiness is something that everyone wants to have and even if you have billions in your bank account, if you are not happy your life will be meaningless. I have learnt over a period of time that money really can’t buy happiness. There are so many people who have all the luxuries in life still they are not happy and not satisfied with what they have. It clearly shows that happiness lies above all these materialistic things and there is a need to understand what exactly happiness is.

Happiness is most of the time confused with worldly pleasures but we forget that pleasure doesn't last for long so it’s a very temporary way of getting happiness. Researchers have distinguished happiness in two categories:

Temporary happiness – it is something you experience when you achieve some targets that you have set for you in your life. For example when you get good grades or promotion you feel happy but that doesn’t last for long and after some time you again start searching for things or targets that will make you happy.

Permanent happiness - it is something that is not achieved but experienced over a period of time. When you can be happy even in worst conditions or when certain things change your perspective to look at things positively, then comes the state where you learn how to be happy in all circumstances and that is ever lasting happiness.

We generally run after temporary happiness and never try to achieve permanent happiness. This has been the history and is still continuing. But it is indeed very important to work towards attaining permanent happiness.

I have seen so many times that people wait to be happy; there happiness depends on the things and circumstances. “When I will get a good job in a multinational company then I will be happy.”  We could be happy even without attaining these things as real happiness lies all above these and we don’t have to wait for all these things to happen to be happy.

Psychologists also believe that happiness can be defined and it is very important to do so as well. Over the course of time we can learn to be happy by understanding the positives in a human being. Positive Psychology is a branch of psychology that tells us about the “strengths and virtues of an individual that enable individuals to thrive”. Psychologists study strengths, positive emotions, resilience and happiness and their studies reflects that by studying positives, new ways to achieve permanent happiness can be learnt.

Martin Seligman, one of the leading researchers in positive psychology and author of ‘Authentic Happiness’, describes happiness as having three parts: pleasant life, good life and meaningful life.

1.)  Pleasant Life: It is the “feel good” part of happiness. It is about having as many pleasures as possible in life. In my views pleasure doesn’t equal happiness. It is just a temporary way of feeling happy.

2.)  Good Life:  It consists of the roots that lead to flow. It consists of knowing what your passions and strengths are and then working towards those to achieve happiness.

3.)  Meaningful Life: It is about using your strengths in the service of something that is bigger than you are.

Anil Sir also discussed reasons that cause unhappiness. He gave 3 reasons:

1.)  Unstated emotional expectations of those whom I care about which are not being met.

2.)  Regrets about the past.

3.)  Guilt that I carry with me.

I came across one more term related to happiness i.e. ‘Synthetic Happiness’. Dan Gilbert, author of “Stumbling on Happiness”, in his talk on Ted talk talked about how we can create our own happiness and how it is like a mental immune system. He explains beautifully what synthetic happiness is and how it can be achieved. We can create our own happiness and it’s not always you will get what will make you happy. You can be just as happy if you don’t get what you want, as you can if you get what you want. This is known as synthetic happiness.

After looking at happiness through various angles, I would like to conclude with a thought that “Happiness is not something you find outside of yourself, but within.”  It can only be achieved through inner peace and has to be everlasting.

So stay happy!! Feel Happy!! J

Shikha Bhatia_BLP059_Self Leadership_September2012

Leadership Series: Session 2 Conducted by: Mr. Anil Sachdev

“People see what they want to see.”-Red Barber

Anil Sir’s session was much needed session and came at the very right time when each one of us was in a state of shock after the incident that we all witnessed.  Anil Sir always goes beyond my expectations and his session leaves me with so many thoughts running through my head. I go in thinking mode for almost like a day after his session.

He started his session with an activity in which we were asked to reflect our thoughts on the “Impact of the Incident (in which we lost our friends) on our own emotions “. We formed groups each consisting of 6 people and shared our thoughts on the same. Common learning out of this activity was that life is really unpredictable and we are all here with some purpose which we should not forget. They came in our life with some purpose. They taught us how we can be compassionate for things we do. Anil Sir then helped us in understanding the ‘Life and Death’ phenomenon and how to deal with such situations.

Then he talked about ‘Emotional Intelligence (EI)’ and its importance. EI is the ability to understand and manage the emotions, behavior, and impulses of oneself, groups, or others.  Its equivalent to trust which includes emotional empathy, respect for others and then accept the consequences.

                                 

Later in the session I learnt a new concept known as ‘Positive Psychology’. It is a new branch of psychology that talks about the positive side of an individual which helps in bringing out the best in that individual.  It helps individuals and organizations identify their positives and use them in increasing their performance. I understand that if this concept is applied correctly in any workplace, it will help that organization in a big way.

Second activity that I really enjoyed was based on ‘Appreciative Inquiry’. The whole class was divided into pairs and each one of us had to ask few questions from the partner assigned, to find out the positives in that person and appreciate him/her for that. After interviewing my partner, Siddhartha, I paraphrased his answers to bring out the positive qualities in him which helped me in realizing the beauty and importance of AI. It’s very unique and nice way of undertaking change in self or in others by generative process of understanding what’s best in them.

It was a very well planned and beautifully executed session which ended with a closing circle where we shared our thoughts and learning’s. It was a great day and by the end of the session I could see smiling faces and an inspiration to learn from past and move ahead.