Amit Yadav_BLP061_Happiness_September2012

Happiness is an emotion which everyone wants to have but it’s very difficult to describe. Definition of happiness varies from person to person. If I describe something as happiness or the source of happiness, may not be the same for others. For me, happiness is achieving the goals and targets set by me. Also, being Satisfied with the life and whatever life is giving to us can bring some happiness. There can be other source of happiness in life, like playing any sport you like, going out with friends, spending time with family and friends, etc.

Being a source of happiness to others is also very common for many people. Many people derive happiness by sacrificing comfort of their lives and doing social work to give happiness to others. Saints and people working in NGO are getting their happiness by teaching others and by devoting their lives for the upliftment of society and people around them. Some people do everything to get this happiness and try to search it in tangible parts of the life, like money, assets and people but really happiness comes from within the human being. Many rich people are not happy in spite of having all the required money with them and some finds it(happiness) with minimum money required for living.

Religion also plays a big role for people searching for happiness. Many people find their happiness by adopting spiritual life and doing god work. In the Mahabharata, when Dharmaraja disguised as the Yaksha asked Yudhisthira, “Who is truly happy”? Yudhisthira replied, “One who cooks his own food, is not a debtor, does not have to leave home to make in order to earn his livelihood is truly happy.” This means that according to Yudhisthira, person who is self dependent and get himself away from materialistic life can be a happy person.

I am still struggling to find out what is that which can give me happiness throughout my life, but a second thought tells me that, happiness is like life, it comes with its own up and downs, some times good and some time bad.

In the end, I would like to end this by a quote by Dalai Lama,

“We begin from the recognition that all beings cherish happiness and do not want suffering. It then becomes both morally wrong and pragmatically unwise to pursue only one’s own happiness oblivious to the feelings and aspirations of all others who surround us as members of the same human family. The wiser course is to think of others when pursuing our own happiness.”
Dalai Lama

Amit Kumar Yadav_BLP061__Self Leadership_September2012

Today Anil Sir took a very good session on Self leadership. As it was the first class in this new semester, it was good to start with Anil sir session. We all started with sharing our feeling and learning from tragedy which shocked Soil a few day back. By this sharing and discussing the same with the class members, we discovered that life is really unpredictable and we all should work towards the betterment and towards the fulfillment of the purpose of the life. How both Rahul and Gaurav came into our life, touched our life with their positivity and taught us some lifelong lessons.

Then Anil sir discussed about Emotional Quotient, Self Understanding & Appreciative Inquiry and their importance in our life.

We all were asked to perform one activity of Appreciative Inquiry. The whole class was divided into pairs and each one of us had to ask few questions from the partner assigned to us. After getting the answers from the partners we all had to paraphrase them and tell the whole class about the positive qualities of that partner. Instead of looking towards the negativity, we were looking at the positivity in the people and were sharing the same with the whole class.

In the end, this session ended with a closing circle where we shared our thoughts and learning’s. Anil sir suggested for forming a talent tree chart displaying the uniqueness of everyone in the class. It was a great day and an inspiration to learn from past and move ahead.

Anil_BLP042_Happiness_September2012

What is Happiness?

Today again I had a long conversation with myself and was doing retrospection to figure out the answer to the same question.

I do remember when I was a kid I used to play around. I could climb the trees. I could do whatever I saw without any doubts, without any hindrance just because I was innocent and knew nothing about everything. I was an enthusiastic child like every other child on planet carrying a big smile on his face and pure from heart excited about everything he sees be it a small flower on the trail in the grassland nearby. I knew when I was happy.

I dig deeper and deeper and came to know that there was no reason behind my happiness. The little flower intrigued me because I wanted to know everything. I was happy inside & nothing gave me happiness. By looking at the flower I just poured over my happiness which was needed to be shared with the Mother Nature.

Be happy and make the surroundings happy. This is the one thing which is very important for people to realize, you cannot make others happy until & unless you are happy. You cannot become happy if you sacrifice something to make others happy and make yourself unhappy. If such is the case, do things to make others happy & feel great for the deeds you have done to bring smile on their faces.

To manifest true happiness, you must be positive from inside and once you are positive inside, you try to look everything positively and hence you are calm at peace and contended.

Faith in one's religion is essential for life's happiness. In times of trouble, religion can be a source of much peace and comfort. Only a virtuous man with a pure conscience can know real happiness. Religion is morality, and without morality, there can be no happiness in life. It is a matter of common experience that those who are immoral, corrupt or dishonest, are never happy in their lives.

So, when I joined SOIL during the induction week Charlie’s sessions and Anil sir’s appreciative inquiry sessions took me back into the arena where I felt like a kid again excited and merry about myself.

SOIL has given me the flavor of being Happy and spreading Happiness which is now my goal and I am relishing the bliss. 

Anil_BLP042_Self Leadership_September2012

We had an excellent whole day session with Anil Sir on various aspects of leadership. It started with a small video on “Things I want to do before I die”.

He emphasized on Carl Rogers’s theory of empathy which states “it feels good when you are heard carefully without being judged & interrupted. He teached us the definition of empathy by exemplifying an excellent example of “wearing others shoes” & explained us we can’t experience the others feeling until we keep our ego aside. We were asked to form a circle & share our feelings for the mishap that took away the lives of our beloved one Gaurav & Rahul. It seemed very tough initially for everyone to memorize the moment when we lost them.

As the day progressed, we got the chance to understand the power of listening, EQ, Self understanding & an appreciative inquiry.                                                                                  Listening is a great power. Our entire life depends on it & it is one of major factor that contributes to attain the great leadership qualities. We learnt the importance of emotional quotient in our personal & professional lives. He also mentioned that emotional quotient is mainly developed through mutual trust, respect and the complete acceptance of an individual. We should also demonstrate genuineness and we can do it by showing the warmth through our eyes and body language when we speak or whether we listen.                                                                                                                

Anil sir then facilitated us the procedure of AI by appreciating each and every person present in the class. We formed a team of two members & completed this process. To my surprise, when we were sharing the appreciation for the fellow partner among the class, Sir beautifully identified our unique gifts and quality of individuals by their stories.

As the process finished, We were suggested to form a talent tree chart displaying the uniqueness of everyone. As a whole, it was a great learning experience.

Samik Roy_BLP052_Happiness_September 2012

Happiness is not a feeling. It is a state of being. It is infact, one of the most essential standards for living.  We can find happiness in many different forms. One can be happy with purchasing of some precious objects which he/she was longing for or with being associated with someone loveable. Material wealth and affluence, fulfilment of one’s desires, human relationships, development of one’s potentialities and individuality, one’s own psychological state, faith in a religion and spirituality are some of the variables considered for determining happiness. The level of happiness differs from person to person. A person can earn a lot of money and still be unhappy. On the other hand, a poor person can find happiness from the very little which he/she has.

Happiness obtained from relationship is longer lasting than materialistic happiness. Such a type of happiness evolves from developing ‘trust’ in relationship between people. Trust in turn leads to ‘Respect’ of others, which in other words is acknowledging the uniqueness of others.

In order to be truly happy, a person should realize all the good things within his life as well as within the life of all people who influence his/her life. He/she should also realize that whatever has happened in his/her life in the past is for good.

Happiness does not come for free. One has to work hard to earn it and harder to keep it. At times, hardships are required are required for people to strive and achieve happiness. People should be able to adapt to their surroundings such as to get the best out of them.

The purest form of happiness can be seen in a mother’s love for her child. The child knows that he/she is under total care of his/her mother. It is an unspoken agreement between the mother and the child and the mother will do anything to keep her child happy.

In the Mahabharata, when Dharmaraja disguised as the Yaksha asked Yudhisthira, “Who is truly happy”? Yudhisthira replied, “One who cooks his own food, is not a debtor, does not have to leave home to make in order to earn his livelihood is truly happy.” This means that according to Yudhisthira, he who does not depend on anyone, does not spend more than he can afford and does not over endeavour for material things is truly happy.

Now how do we find this happiness? Since childhood, our aspirations keep on changing and so does our perception of happiness. But as we grow and experience more of this wonderful journey called life, we should understand that happiness comes most from giving. Hence it is truly said in the Bhagwad Gita , “He attains peace into whom all desires enter as waters enter the ocean, which, filled from all sides, remains unmoved; but not the man who is full of desires”.

Samik Roy_BLP052_Self Leadership_September 2012

It was the first class at the beginning of a new trimester and it was to be taken by Anil sir. What more could we have expected? But it started on a different note. The atmosphere was gloomy. We had just lost two of our good friends in a tragedy and this was practically the first class without them. The class began with Anil sir asking us a question. ‘What is the impact of this incidence on us?’ This made us all think.

I felt that this incidence showed us how uncertain life is. We crib for better jobs, salary, but such mishaps changed our perspectives altogether. We do not know what is going to happen next , hence as rightly said in the Bhagwad Gita, “We should only concentrate to do our work and not have any expectations”. Thus we should stop worrying about future and enjoy our present to the fullest. As I was thinking about this, I kept on remembering an incidence from the Mahabharata where Dharmaraja in the form of Yaksha asked Yudhisthira the important question, “What is the most wonderful thing?” Yudhisthira answered, “The most amazing thing is that even though every day one sees countless living entities dying, he still acts and thinks as if he will live forever.”

As the session progressed, Anil sir showed us a video on “things to do before I die”. This showed the aspirations of dying people and how we should live every moment till the last. This video showed how people are enjoying life and rejoicing before accepting the ultimate truth of life.

We then learned about the Appreciative Inquiry process and what qualities are required for it to be done. As Anil sir explained, we understood that deep listening is an important element in appreciative inquiry.  One should listen as if his life is dependent on it. Deep listening and understanding comes when the listener will be able to empathise with the teller. When EQ of the listener is high, trust develops, which in turn leads to respect of each other.

We were asked to do appreciative enquiry of one of our classmates and I had the privilege to do appreciative enquiry of one the best persons I have ever met – Devendra. It was a great experience, and when I listened to him, I could realize that he is a great person with loads of talent of different kind, but is so down to earth to be with us always guiding about something or the other and sharing his knowledge in various aspects.

We concluded the day with our feedbacks about the session. Anil sir encouraged us to prepare a knowledge tree showcasing each member’s talent.

As I retrospect about the day’s activities, I keep on thinking how this art of appreciative inquiry will impact us. I feel that this activity will help in developing trust among people. The amount of positivity involved in this art will surely help people to realise their potential and gain self confidence, thus in the process re-discover themselves. I would like to end by mentioning an excerpt from a verse in Kathopanishada, where Nachiketa says, “Bahunamemi prathama, bahunamemi madhyama”, which means, “I may be superior to many and mediocre to many, but I am never the worst.”

Jitin Nair_BLP002_Self Leadership_September2012

Anil Sir's sessions are based on deep introspection and self learning. We all were recouping from shock and were getting into grip of things when he  asked us to share our emotions going within us. Two of our dearest friends Gaurav and Rahul were no more among us , really sad and hard to believe that life can be so cruel and uncertain.

We all are emotionally, physically, and mentally upset and in deep state of shock  even now. For once in my life, I could not decide which is the stronger feeling in me right now: sorrow or rage . Sorrow for the demise of my dearest friends  or murderous rage for the person responsible for it. Grieving and healing processes take time to settle. We hope time heals all wounds and thus we all seek comfort in their good memories.

After this Anil Sir made us all  stand in a circle and requested all of us  to share something for which we are thankful in this life. Post this he shared a video with us sent by his daughter which gave us an idea to write something that we really want to do before we die.

Then he told us about the importance of emotional quotient (EQ) .What I understood about EQ is that it's a way one listens, understands, and empathizes with others. He explained us how there was a thin line between sympathy and empathy. In sympathy, he said, you get into someone's shoes while you still have your own shoes on whereas in empathy you get into  the other persons' shoes after removing your own. He also quoted "The heart needs to get inspired to get the best work done", which sort of moved me.

In the latter half of the session he took us through the power of Appreciative Inquiry .We all were paired in group of 2 and started doing appreciative inquiry with each other .We  interviewed each other with the enthusiasm of a child and in the process discovered each other’s positives individually. My positive attributes that came out during the discussion were that I am a smart guy who knows how to do his job and is completely trustworthy. I am a person who studies how things go right rather things going wrong. Self- confidence along with self-belief pushes me to perform better. This exercise left us with complete positivity around and I started seeing each and every one based on their positive traits thereafter.

Finally, the session ended with our reflections on  what we learnt the entire day and hope our beloved departed friends rest in peace forever.

Danish Khan_BLP035_Happiness_September 2012

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence” – Aristotle.

Happiness is a skill you can learn and practice the rest of your life.  Whether you drive from happiness, pursuit happiness, or simply grow happiness right under your feet, you can draw from many sources to help you on your journey. Happiness Is Healing – Happiness is the best way to put painful experiences behind us.  Expect everything you do to be enjoyable and then try to make everything you do fun, interesting and rewarding.

Happiness is like jam. You can't spread it around without getting some on yourself~ Anonymous

A "sense of progress" or hitting milestones toward a particular goal is something we (and leading positive psychology research) consider one of the most important frameworks of long-term happiness.

Money doesn’t buy happiness; it only buys stuff. People pursue money thinking that by having more stuff they become more. In reality, having more never makes you more, but “takes” you more. Once you buy something, it takes more money to use it, insure it, maintain it, clean it, move it, fix it, store it, and eventually, sell it or spend money trying to get rid of it. People don’t respect you for having “more.” They are envious and jealous. They may even think that you got more by being dishonest. Some even want to see you lose that “more” or take it away from you. You need to strive to “become” more - not have more. People respect people who have contributed to the world in a positive manner and who became more doing it. If service-to-others and contribution to the world is what drives you, you find that not only do you find happiness and gain respect in life, but monetary rewards fall into your lap without you chasing them. The greed-driven desire to acquire more than you need or deserve is a mental illness. Making every day the happiest day!

Quoting lines from Nithya Shanti Workshop handout:

100% complaint free day/life

100% Responsibility for your own happiness

The best antivirus: "cancel"

No matter what happens: "How Beautiful"

Attitude of a spiritual warrior: "Bring it on!"

When you appreciate something that was said:" And So it is!

The secret to living in the present: Savoring everything, enjoying living in the present

The most important shift: From seeking to spread happiness

The most important rule: Rule#6 - "Don't take life to seriously"

The essential practice: "Throughout the day, keep returning to simple feeling of being

Doing Well AND Feeling Well should be our Top Personal Priorities. One should Expect to enjoy everything one does and then find ways to make everything enjoyable, meaningful and rewarding – for everyone involved. Propel Life and Work With Fun! Continually create your own happiness.

Try To Have A Good Time ALL of The Time. Learn how happiness works and start building happiness in your life.

Many people want to be happy but they expect happiness to magically descend on them, like a dove from heaven.  They don’t know how to create happiness in their lives or for the people around them.

They don’t realize happiness is right there at their finger tips, waiting for them to reach out and enjoy it.

If you don’t make happiness a personal priority, happiness often only appears by accident or as an afterthought.  Life is too short for that.

“To Be Happy or Happier, Aim For Happiness”.  Make Happiness a Goal and Work To Achieve It.

Danish Khan_BLP035_Self Leadership_September 2012

The beginning of another term at SOIL (time seems to have flied, memoirs of induction are still afresh in mind) couldn't have been any better.Our first class of 2nd semester, was Self Leadership by Anil Sir - a selfless leaders who has made  marked differences in lives of many students & industry stalwarts alike.

Although, the term-end brought along experiences too harsh to reckon, incidences too abrupt to reaffirm, this first class by Sir helped us in recovering from the shock of losing two of our class mates in road accident. The moods were soured and minds were soared before the class commenced after the morning circle. Students with sulking faces began occupying the seats of their once brightful classroom.

 

Sir, opened the class with an opening circle, where students circled together holding each other’s hands to let the positive energy flow among themselves. Students were encouraged by sir to speak up about their feelings about losing their loved ones and express their gratitude towards the almighty for all his blessings on us and our loved ones. We shared,how we feel grateful to be standing today with all the goodness in life and that we are privlidged to be hail & hearty.

A video shared by Sir's daughter was projected; it made us ponder over thoughts on "things to do before I die”. It was a great source of inspiration as it provided the insight to have aspiration and dream even while facing the ultimate truth of life which is “Death”. This video for me was a way to rejoice life and accept death.

Continuing the positivity with the power of healing, Ani Sir walked us through the session emphasizing upon emotional intelligence, why it is important in a leader, how one can inculcate the essence of emotional intelligence and enhances their emotional quotient. Lots of importance to listening was essayed and art of being a good listener was exemplified

Sir, showed us in his unique way demonstrated the difference between empathy & sympathy.

Emotional intelligence is important constituent of leadership, blended with the power of listening brings perfection.

Then we learned the nuances of appreciative inquiry and the qualities needed for it, one of which is deep listening as if one’s life depends on it and to paraphrase what s/he has said.

Deep listening only comes when the listener is fully present and is able to empathize i.e. put oneself in other’s perspective not position. Also the other qualities needed for undertaking AI is to develop trust which can only come into being when the EQ level of listener is high. Finally for an AI to be successful one should be respectful of other’s uniqueness and also aspect of genuineness and warmth should be reflected through words and body language. As a class we got to know each other much better in terms of his/her strengths and qualities which generally we ignore. This exercise created a sense of belonging among each and everyone developed collective aspiration to make the institute and our self better than before.

We watched the video of a monk who is termed the happiest person in the world in which he shared secret behind happy life. Then we individually introspected upon the causes of unhappiness in our life by concentration upon following aspects.

We will be creating a knowledge tree out of these appreciative qualities of each student and document them. The class formed circles to express what they felt after last week’s crisis (losing our class mates) and performed individual exercises on happiness – things that deprive us of happiness are following:

-Unstated emotional expectations of those I care

-Regrets about the past

-Guilt that I carry with me

 

In the end, we all appreciated Sir for conducting such an enriching session, which helped many to overcome tired/tiring instances of last week. The session opened avenues for

thoughts on enhancing one’s self understanding & self leadership.

 

 

 

Rohit_Deo_BLP004_Happiness_september2012

Happiness - so simple but so complex word. Literally it means "pleasure, joy, exhilaration, bliss, contentedness, delight,enjoyment, satisfaction." It is a feeling which is different for different individuals. According to Ralph Waldo Emerson "Hume's doctrine was that the circumstances vary, the amount of happiness does not; that the beggar cracking fleas in the sunshine under a hedge, and the duke rolling by in his chariot; the girl equipped for her first ball, and the orator returning triumphant from the debate, had different means, but the same quantity of pleasant excitement." One thing about happiness is that - more you spread the more you experience it. As i have mentioned earlier it is having different meaning for different people. Some might like sharing happy memories of their own life, some might get it by just sitting alone and spending time with self. Happiness is undying quench of life. It is insatiable hunger of human being.

For me happiness is having a limited scope. I feel happiness in serving my parents, spending quality time with my family, viewing my favorite team's matches and see them winning, achieving tough objectives and most importantly make people smile. It might be looking very silly but it really takes wholeheartedly efforts to experience it. I would like to see people smile in tough times. It really creates a positive energy which gives courage and confidence to face any situation in life. Life is too small to indulge into pity issues. Its all about spreading the positive energy. There will be lot of pain in the world and there should be lot of sorrow, pain in this world without these lamentable moments, happiness would have significant value. Lastly i would like to end my what so ever small understanding on happiness by a quote from Rabindranath Tagore - " The most important lessons that man can learn from his life is not that there is pain in this world, but ..that it is possible for him to transmute it into joy".

Robin Goel_BLP033_Happiness_September 2012

When I send down the thinking probe in my brain for the meaning of the word "Happiness" no surge of brilliance came up to greet me. I felt it, but couldn't find words to express it. After some more thought I was able to give some words to this abstract feeling.

I define happiness as, "The state when a person is smiling and feeling good about himself and the world around him"

Why is happiness so important? That is again a question which puzzles a brain like mine which has always been used for solving complex mathematical equations rather than dealing with the abstract.

The whole concept of why happiness and why sorrow is somewhat alien to this brain of mine, which has been conditioned to understand data not emotions from times immortal.

When I read about the concept on various online resources I discovered a new field of science which is used to define happiness called positive psychology. In a March 2009 edition of The Journal of Positive Psychology, Sara Algoe and Jonathan Haidt say that "happiness" may be the label for a family of related emotional states, such as joy, amusement, satisfaction, gratification, euphoria, and triumph.

Another popular American psychologist Mr. Abraham Harold Maslow created the hierarchy of needs (A pyramid depicting the levels of human needs (psychological and physical)) Maslow envisioned moments of extraordinary experience, known as peak experiences, profound moments of love, understanding, happiness, or rapture, during which a person feels more whole, alive, self-sufficient, and yet a part of the world.

It is the same thing that Mr. V.S. Mahesh discussed in detail in our class on Service Marketing.

Mr. Mahesh talked about how this theory was basically a small version of what was done by Mr. Rajashekhra in Kanauj centuries ago. Their Rajashekhra (The teacher of princes of Kanauj) published that though human needs follow this particular pyramid of hierarchy of needs where satisfaction of every consecutive need leads to more happiness in person’s life and the final state of human needs is Self Actualization where he the person is lost in the flux of happiness.

But Rajashekhra not only discovered this theory century before but also gave a very rare and important connect between Karma and need satisfaction. It said that the quality of karma is best when it is done by an individual who is in a state of Self actualization. This theory has huge implications as it means that for getting the best quality of work delivery from an individual/employee he needs to be in a state of Self Actualization or as some say it Perfect Happiness.

This theory if true can have huge implications on the way organizations see and use their employees. This theory basically tells the employers that if the best work needs to be extracted from their workforce then the employees need to be satisfied at each level of needs. For this extrinsic motivation (Rewards) can only inspire employees to be maximum of state of esteem needs. For reaching further the person need to be perfectly happy.
I believe this relation between happiness and efficiency is something that needs to be explored in research as it has the potential of altering the way in which organizations operate and treat their employees today.

Karan Chhabra_BLP060_Self Leadership_September 2012

‘Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get”.
Dale Carnegie

Wanting happiness is natural, everyone wants happiness but how do they get it is different for different people. Some may feel happy in being rich and other might feel happy in looking beautiful however, according to me happiness lies in respecting our life and our karmas. This seems to be philosophical but I fell is the real mantra of happiness. We don’t have to go and search for happiness in this materialist world it lays within ourselves. We all are blessed with a human soul which as per Bhagavad Gita we get it after 84 Lakhs species so, what else can give us happiness instead of respecting such a precious life.  We are not sure whether we will take our next birth or not or what we will be in our next birth. With this uncertainty why should we waste our life in looking for happiness rather we must look within ourselves to find happiness. We must respect every single breath and devote our life to Lord, our family; our gurus and mankind which will not only give us happiness in this birth but will also open doors of happiness for our next birth.

We all are creators of God and he has been very kind to us by giving a human life but we differentiate ourselves with other by our karmas. Bhagavad Gita also talks about the Karmas it says “karam kar aur faal ki prapati ki chinta maat kar” which means that we should only concentrate on our efforts rather than worrying about the outcome. Whatever we do in this world we have to pay for it here only so our efforts determine whether we deserve happiness or not. Our karmas can only lead us to a path of happiness. This path of happiness can be short or long which also depends upon on our karmas. We might get the short term happiness by running around things in this materialist world but this happiness will sustain for a very short period of time. To gain the longer term happiness we have to devote our life in spreading happiness. This has also been said by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Ji that happiness lies in giving happiness to others. Like children, if you give them sweets in their hands they become so happy, happiness of gaining something. So until you don’t give yourself to others you will not find contentment or happiness. You can never be content in taking. Contentment comes only in giving. But people want to be contented in taking and they go after things but no one finds contentment. That is why people are not contented. Only in giving there is happiness.

Respecting our life and Karma is just the input which is required to bring happiness in our life. Also, I would like to add that by attaining the peace and by doing good deeds will be a source of happiness in my life. I would like to die happily rather than living happily so that I should be away from the vicious circle of life and death.

hargeet singh brar_BLP057_Happiness_September 2012

All seasons are beautiful for the person who carries happiness within." – Horace Friess

 

Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passed. We begin from the recognition that all beings cherish happiness and do not want suffering. Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence. The basic thing is that everyone wants happiness, no one wants suffering. And happiness mainly comes from our own attitude, rather than from external factors. If your own mental attitude is correct, even if you remain in a hostile atmosphere, you feel happy. Men spend their lives in anticipations, in determining to be vastly happy at some period when they have time. But the present time has one advantage over every other – it is our own. Past opportunities are gone, future have not come. We may lay in a stock of pleasures, as we would lay in a stock of wine; but if we defer the tasting of them too long, we shall find that both are soured by age. Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within Philosophers, scientists, and comedians have taught us a lot about happiness.  Maybe one of the most important lessons they’ve taught us is to look inward for happiness.  Sometimes it’s right in front of you and you just have to grab it.   They’ve also taught us that our thought patterns can limit or enable our happiness.  They’ve  taught us that happiness isn’t static.   They’ve taught us that happiness isn’t about things.  In fact, sometimes it’s about doing … doing what we love.

I think the key themes boil down to how we talk to ourselves, how we respond to things, how we make meaning, who we spend time with, and how we make the most of what we’ve got.   The other key thing is that happiness is dynamic and it’s not a static state.  It’s about living, learning and growing, and rolling with the punches.  I also think it’s important to think of happiness as a skill.  Drive from happiness.  For durable happiness, lead your happiness from the inside out.  Most importantly – enjoy the process. Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.Happiness, it seems to me, consists of two things: first, in being where you belong, and second -and best -in comfortably going through everyday life, that is, having had a good night’s sleep and not being hurt by new shoes. There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life — happiness, freedom, and peace of mind — are always attained by giving them to someone else. When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace. I guess there is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state to another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life.

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others’ actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others’ activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others. Being happy is something you have to learn. I often surprise myself by saying "Wow, this is it. I guess I'm happy. I got a home I love. A career  that I love. I'm even feeling more and more at peace with myself." If there's something else to happiness, let me know. I'm ambitious for that, too. The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature. Happiness is a journey, not a destination; happiness is to be found along the way not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it's too late. The time for happiness is today not tomorrow. We always have enough to be happy if we are enjoying what we do have--and not worrying about what we don't have. It is neither wealth nor splendor, but tranquillity and occupation, which give happiness. The happiest people seem to be those who have no particular reason for being so except that they are so.

Aman Kharbas_BLP001_Happiness_September 2012

“Happiness is a state of mind. More correctly put, it is the state beyond the mind.”- Anonymous

As I was told to write something about Happiness, what it is perceived to be by world and by me, I started looking around on internet about Happiness. Most of my efforts were fruitless, as you can imagine that everyone has a different opinion about Happiness and hence everyone has one’s own definition of happiness. Well I come across the quote above, but soon after, I knew that it is wrong! Why?

Well I stumbled across a marvelous video on TED talks, in which a renowned scientist Dan Gilbert was talking about science behind happiness. I cannot describe the whole video as such, but I can surely try.

There were many changes happened during the evolution of mankind from the monkeys, one of the very important changes that happened overtime was that the size of the human brain increased by 1/3^rd. One of the main developments happened to brain is front lobe or the pre-frontal cortex and thanks to this part, humans could now simulate the future in the mind. No other living being on earth can do that; we can think about a situation, feed the current data to the brain and can simulate that this would happen, if I would do that. This amazing ability led us to the concept of “Synthetic Happiness”. Dan came up with this breakthrough finding that happiness cannot be created from the external world, because happiness is synthetic, i.e. we make it, in our brains, deliberately! 

There are numerous examples which can be mentioned here. A paraplegic person and a lottery winner were questioned, and they both said that they are equally happy. Even a drummer, who was dumped by Beatles in their initial days for the famous Ringo Starr, even said that he is very happy that he didn’t remain with The Beatles. Even a person who was convicted for murder and exonerated after 15 years, due to DNA evidence against the case, when asked said that he is really happy now. Why is it so?

 The answer lies in the word- “Synthetic”. Studies conducted over Human Brain, have showed that the aforementioned Simulator (Pre-frontal cortex) tend to overestimate the impact of any event on us, this is called impact bias. Now due to this impact bias, our brain tells us that the event is going to be very horrible, but as it turns out to be less horrible- VOILA! We are happy that it was not as horrible as we played it out in our minds. That is why generally any major life trauma can never match the amount of sorrow we expect in our brains and that’s why even just after 3-4 months it has no longer any impact on our happiness.

So what it really tells is that we think that happiness is to be found, while it has been scientifically proven that happiness comes from within. It is totally a play of chemicals in our brains. The key to happiness is being content and for being content we should do what we love to do, not what we are good at, not what would earn us big bucks.

Hargeet Singh Brar_BLP057_Self Leadership_September 2012

Self-leadership sessions by Anil Sachdev sir are really inspiring and the best part is we are having them at the age when nobody is aware of what leadership is and what is it all about. Such sessions are meant for the people at high positions in an organization but we are blessed to have them even before joining an organization. This all is possible because of the values and belief system of SOIL. I am a bit disappointed for not attending the session due to some personal reason but am writing today based on the little I gained about the session from friends and the summary shared with us.

The class started with a video on “things to do before I die”. It was an inspiring video of a small girl who started jotting down things she wants to do before she dies. I feel that if we feel like doing anything at a moment, we should do it there and then itself because life is very short and unpredictable to wait for a proper opportunity to come our way.

We should also know the importance of people in our life. Life is not static and it has twists and turns with each passing second. Everybody comes in our life for a purpose. We should cherish every moment but should be aware of the fact that nobody is going to be with us forever.

We also talked about emotional intelligence and its importance. EI is the ability to understand and manage the emotions, behavior, and impulses of oneself, groups, or others. It is same as trust we have in others.

Then we talked about a new branch of psychology which is called ‘positive psychology’. It talks about the positive qualities of an individual which helps in bringing the best out of that individual. Concentrating on the positives helps the enhance them and also in a way diminish the negative qualities.

Then the Appreciative inquiry activity was carried out. In it, class was divided into pairs and each one of us had to ask few questions from other and had to do deep listening. We had to have the curiosity of a child and had to appreciate the positive qualities of the other person.

The session ended with closing circle where people shared their feelings, thoughts and learning’s.

Aditya Kumar_BLP036_Happiness_September 2012

                                                        What is Happiness?

Human, being a social animal is always in pursuit of happiness. For most of us a question arises that what is happiness? For some it is having a glass of water after a hard day’s work and for some it could be a fat pay cheque. It could be the happiest moment while looking at your new born baby or winning a million dollar lottery. Even meeting your loved one after a long time, gives an adrenalin rush and ends up becoming a happiest moment in our lives. Happiness stands for different meanings to all of us. The way people express their feelings when they are happy are also different across the world. It could vary from shedding tears till giving a tight warm hug. The celebration of happiness can end up into the biggest parties ever thrown.

 Sometimes I wonder that which organ of the body leads to happiness. Is it our beautiful emotional heart which is full of sentiments or our vicious and intelligent brain which can often lead us to mirage of happiness? I would like to stick with heart being responsible for happiness as I believe that all human emotions lies in the heart and emotional person tends to get happy or sad very soon(I am staunch believer of this because I am a cancerian!!) . In the quest for happiness, people follow different paths to attain their ultimate ecstatic moment of wonderful journey of life. For me, doing an appreciative inquiry for people makes them happy. I would like to share 2 ‘happiest’ moments of my life.

             

Just after getting passed out from 12^th standard (not with flying colors of course!), I end up being nowhere. I was standing right in the middle of the desert of disparity and despair where a seat in an engineering college was like a mirage. So, I took the biggest decision of my life and went ahead to drop a year for engineering entrance examination preparation. I chose Kota (This city is best known for its institutes like Bansals and Career Points which imparts quality preparatory coaching) over my local coaching centers and showed great faith in their teaching methodologies. I worked hard for the one whole year but the irony of the time was that I fell seriously ill for the last few months and hence could not do well in the examination. One more time in my life, I was again in the dilemma of making a choice between dropping another year as didn’t fared well or settle down with the less. It is been famously said that destiny favors the brave. So for the obvious reason I again dropped another year and this time I made sure that no stones would be left unturned. On the day my first result came, in that very moment, I cried bitterly with all my emotions flowing out through my eyes. I still have those beautiful memories of that wonderful juncture. Never ever before in my life I experienced such kind of moment.

The other true moment of happiness for me was when I got my first job. After struggling throughout my engineering (at least till 6^th semester!!) in aspiration of good grades I did not even managed to get a respectable job. But I never lost the hope and continued on the path of sheer hard work and glory. Finally, after all the hard luck I finally ended up in a good job with a respectable company. That moment of happiness is preserved in my golden memories.

So what stops people being happy all the time. What is that ultimate burden which leads to unhappiness? In my opinion it is the pressure of staying ahead in the rat race is the main cause of sorrow. If we compare the today’s modern times full of tech savvy, gadget freak generation with that of older ones, we will find that people were happier in the previous generations. Today’s people are indulged in rat race for achieving the luxury status. The hunger of getting ahead by any means is the main root cause of their grief. Modern human being has become so blind that it shows no mercy to nature and even other species for full filling their own greed. Now according to me, in order to open their eyes, there is strict need of divine spiritualism. By referring to our own Gitas and Ved Purans, we can make them learn that what is the real happiness of life? Happiness is not just about leading a pleasant life but a meaningful life. By the power of giving we can actually spread happiness in this universe. By appreciating others for their good deeds, would give those people, the real joy.

We should serve the almighty and our nation selflessly. This can help our society and its people in a big way thus ultimately leading to increased happiness index too. We should realize that before it is too late. Instead of cribbing, people should learn new ways to remain happy. I would like to end this article by a famous quote on happiness by Mother Teresa

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” 

Happiness-Self Leadership-Arun Kumar_BLP034

Happiness is your birth right. We brought happiness to this word when we were born and it’s our duty to spread happiness till we leave this world. Happiness multiplies when it is shared with others. Festivals are occasions to celebrate and share the joy and spread the happiness. He is responsible for ones happiness but happiness is not always an individual entity.

Happiness is what all humans seek. It is more important than may be money, health or relationships. It is the greatest gift in life, because when we are happy, everyone around us is happy, and we attract positive energy into our lives. So, here if we try to find satisfaction or even define satisfaction, it again is different for different persons and differs from task to task. So satisfaction is a relative word. For example we can get satisfied with a piece of chocolate cake but again if we get a delicious piece of mango cake our satisfaction towards the chocolate will decrease.

Our nature is always to seek happiness, even a man hanging himself in some way want to reduce the pain in his life. If we go by literature, some people say that only remembering the past brought happiness to them, some said that living in the present and forgetting the past and the future brought them happiness. This led Henry Begson, a French Philosopher to say that how to get happiness has been left in vague, so that each one can have his own definition. But if happiness is to determine every moment of our life we must be able to know what it actually is. Some people confuse happiness with pleasure. Pleasure depends on the time, the object, the place.

 There are three forms of happiness as explained by Martin Seligman: Pleasant life, Good life and Meaningful life were thoroughly explained as below.

1) Pleasant Life- This talks about having as many pleasures as possible and having the skills to amplify the pleasures.

2) Good Life- This means knowing what your signature strengths are, and then recrafting your work, love, friendship, leisure and parenting to use those strengths to have more flow in life. A good life essentially means living your dreams and passions.

3) Meaningful Life- It is one which consists of using your signature strengths in the service of something that you believe is larger than you are. Understanding the purpose of one’s existence to serve mankind is the underlying thinking of a meaningful life.