Friday, 21 September 2012

Debanjan_Chakraborty_BLP063_Self Leadership_September 2012


The class started by congratulating us that we (BLP class) had cleared their First Terminal Exams and are into our Second Term. But he also expressed deep remorse about the fact that we had lost two of our dearest friends. Eventually he told us to do a small exercise. He told us to put it down in pen and paper how it felt like when we heard the news of the sudden demise of our dearest friends and also how did we manage to accept that thing.
Here I would like to write down a few points I wrote:
Initially I was in a state of shock and remorse. But gradually when I realized the fact that our friends are no more with us I learned to accept it.
I believe we are too small in front of the great power that drives the universe. So we must accept the fact and remember our friends by leading our lives in a manner that would have made them proud. We don’t know whether our prayers are heard or not, but just in case it is, we should pray for their souls.
Next we discussed about the ability to listen. Anil sir told us that we should listen to a person as if our life depends upon the words that the person is speaking. We should have the curiosity of a child when we are listening to others. We need to understand properly what the speaker is telling. Also we need to make the speaker feel comfortable and with our body language and gestures we need to make him understand that we are following whatever he is trying to convey. We must also paraphrase whatever he has told over a period of time and repeat it. In this way the speaker will know whether listener is in line. Also we were told that paraphrasing has two parts one is regarding the content or the thought and the second is the emotional aspect or the feelings.
Also Anil Sir told us that another aspect of a great listener is that he is empathetic. Empathetic is like feeling what the speaker is feeling. He also explained in a very dramatic manner, the difference between sympathy and empathy. For this exercise he called two volunteers. One of them was asked to remove his shoes and the second was told to fit into the other person’s shoes without taking out his own shoes. He told that the learning from the exercise was that we cannot fit into other’s shoes if we do not remove our own shoes. That is what he called empathy.
He then discussed regarding EQ (Emotional quotient). He told that when we are applying for higher jobs, what is measured by most of the great leaders in the EQ. It is just like being in a relationship, where trust is the first thing. From trust we respect that person and accept the uniqueness of that person. We should also demonstrate genuineness and this should be through our eyes and body language when we speak or whether we listen.
Later in the day Anil Sir told us to do an appreciative enquiry of one of our fellow classmates. I was fortunate enough to do it for Rohit Deo. After this exercise was done, he listed all the unique talents that each one of us possessed. And told us that we have unique talents within us, all that we need to do is to make them count.
As a last exercise he told us to write down the things the unstated expectations that my near and dear ones had from me and similarly I had from those people. Also he told us to write down a few incidents which we regret the most.
Ultimately he told us that we need to let go the negative energy that are pulling us back, they are just like heavy stones that we are carrying on our backs on our way up to a steep mountain. If we can do so we can focus on the present and thus do justice to the present work that we are doing.
Towards the end of the class Anil Sir narrated an incident from his life. Through the story what he wanted to convey was that before doing any action we must put ourselves in the shoes of persons we care the most and judge by ourselves whatever we are doing is correct or not. He also told us to narrate any incident from our side if we had that type of experience.

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