Friday, 21 September 2012

Hetal_Gandhi_BLP020_Happiness_September2012


From the onset of humanity we have been trying to find out the ingredients of happiness, but as rightly portrayed in the movie kung fu panda that there was neither any secret to become the dragon warrior nor for the soup, we must understand that the happiness is anything which we derive by giving or receiving from the world. There is no strict definition of happiness but on generic basis what can be said is that happiness is anything which brings smile on our faces.

The main source of happiness lies in ourself.Its only that we don't realize the same. We move here and there in pursuit of happiness but we don’t realize the fact that the moment when deep inside our heart is at peace we are in a state of happiness. Even Robin Sharma in his book the Monk Who Sold his Ferrari has very vividly portrayed how we can gain happiness. The moment we discover our self our purpose of life we have discovered the pathway for happiness.

From Ancient Greeks to Buddhists, thinkers have queried the nature of happiness. Not much research has been done to inquire the main determinants of happiness, but broadly can be classified into three

1. The positive trumping the negative: There is so much negative vibes around us which always makes us think negative and the critic within our self is always active. For e.g.: as students we at times tend to crib about why a particular faculty is acting tough with us or why we have a number of happiness. We do not think about the flip side that we are been put to test because it would eventually help us discover our skills which would add value to our lives and contribute in self learning. For years many scientists have conducted researches on positive thinking and the concept has evolved and now it has entered a generative phase called the appreciative inquiry where the main intention is through appreciating the good deeds of the speaker we tend to help him gain confidence which thus act as an reagent to fight the negativity in the speaker.

2. Family trumping materialism: In the present generation we have been lead by a lot of materialistic attitude. We tend to run behind worldly riches and arrive at a perception that higher salary or bigger house would bring happiness to us. The happiness that we derive from these is short lived and will be consumed sooner or later. But we do not realize that long lasting happiness would be derived when we are with our family. We would not be devoid of happiness if we respect our family.

3. Generosity triumphs selfishness: We have to learn to give than thinking about ourselves. People who give away more of their wealth, regardless of income, feel happier than those who give away less.  Similarly, those who did favors for others in the last year felt happier than those who received favors in the last year. The largest happiness effect is seen when people do things for someone together with other people.

We cannot be happy at all times because we do get bogged down due to circumstances and   situations. Doing a deep diving would help us unravel the root cause of unhappiness .These can broadly classified as

 1. Unstated emotional expectations of those whom i care about

 2. Regret about the past

3. Guilt that I carry with me

We must learn to lift ourselves above these causes of unhappiness which cause unrest in our hearts acting as root cause for disturbing our inner peace .We must try to de burden the sources of unhappiness so that we can strive in our quest for the higher purpose of our life. We must look beyond horizons and try to do things which excite us or activities we are passionate about. Life is too short and in this short span of time if we live and celebrate every moment as and when it comes. As Alfred hitch cock rightly said when asked what happiness was, According to him “A clear horizon, nothing to worry about on your plate. Only things that is creative and not destructive. That's within yourself, within me I can't bare quarrelling I can't bare feelings between people. I think hatred iswasted energy. It's all non-productive. I'm very sensitive. A sharp word said by say a person who has a temper if they're close to me hurts me for days. I know we're only human, we do go in for these various emotions, call them negative emotions, but when all these are removed and you can look forward and the road is clear ahead and now you're going to create something. I think that's as happy as I would ever want to be."  Life is a roller coaster with peaks and troughs and we should treat both of them equally by enjoying the peaks and be positive when encountering troughs.

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